Nadia's Story

Coming Out, Building a Family, and Pride: A Personal Journey

By: Nadya Eisner-Horesh

Walking in Jerusalem Pride

At the 2022 Jerusalem Pride Parade, my wife and our five-year-old daughter walked alongside me, as did my older children. They marched either with us or with their friends, doing so with complete naturalness. My children from my first marriage all attend or have attended religious schools in Jerusalem and maintain relationships with their religious father.

“They marched with us in complete naturalness—an experience I once could not have imagined.”

The First Pride Parade

Nine years ago, in 2013, I participated in the Jerusalem Pride Parade for the first time. I tried to avoid the spotlight and stay away from cameras. I feared being filmed, appearing on TV, and making things incredibly difficult for my children.

Ten years ago, I was afraid to come out to them, fearing they might distance themselves. I worried that a homophobic environment would influence them and cause them to reject me.

Leaving Home and Facing Custody Fears

Twelve years ago, I left my home in a surge of courage, taking my children to a new place. I remember recurring nightmares about my children being taken away. An amazing friend helped me connect with a fantastic lawyer, who persuaded me to calm down and supported me in establishing joint custody.

“Those fears were not unfounded, but they were exaggerated and drained me of the strength I desperately needed for life itself.”

The Early Years of Fear

Going back fourteen years, I was absolutely certain that if anyone knew the truth about me, everything would collapse. I was terrified to say the word “lesbian”. I feared the breakdown of my marriage and my relationship with my children, and even a general sense of collapse—perhaps I felt the universe itself would implode if I came out, even to those closest to me.

I contacted a Bat Kol representative (who later became a close friend) in such a secretive and discreet way that it could have been a covert Mossad operation in Tehran. I arrived at the meeting shaking. This was the first lesbian I had ever spoken to, let alone the first religious lesbian.

“So many fears and anxieties. So much pain and tears. If only I had known the future…”

The Difficult Road

I’m not saying the journey was easy. It was difficult—both the process and the reality. Not easy with the world, not easy with the children. Not easy during the divorce, the coming out process, or building a second chapter with a woman. Not everything went smoothly or without challenges.

Yet I chose to live authentically. I continued to love my children and tried to understand them, but I also loved myself and embraced who I am—and whom I love. I tried to live my life as I believed it should be lived, gently introducing my family and loved ones to my world.

“I always wanted the children to know they are the most important thing in the world to me—while also understanding that my truth and my love matter too, because they make me who I am.”

Sometimes I succeeded more, sometimes less—but we are a family, and that is what matters most.

A Message to My Younger Self

I wish I had a time machine to reach the 33-year-old version of me, 15 years ago: the young woman deep in the closet, paralyzed by anxiety, unsure how she would ever emerge. I would show her photos from the 2022 Pride Parade, hug her, and tell her not to fear anyone or anything, that she is doing the right thing.

Even if the current political climate makes it hard to anticipate the future of LGBTQ+ rights in our country, I, personally, have stopped fearing.

“I write this because someone out there might need to read it now. I embrace you and tell you—it will be okay. Not easy, not immediately, but truly, it will be okay.”

Nadya Eisner-Horesh